Thursday, July 17, 2008

im scared

im scared...
scared of everything...
im scared of everything that comes into my mind...

everything is like going towards the opposite way...
not going the way i wanted...
its the opposite of what im hoping for...

i have bad feelings for what im going to score for my marketing paper...
after scoring badly for my consumer behavior paper...
my level of confidence for marketing totally went down the drain...
i have the feeling that i screwed up my paper...
eventhough i said i was happily answering the paper...
answering it happily doesnt mean that i will score high...
who knows maybe the happy answers doesnt meet the requirement...
shit la... i really think i did it wrongly already...
i assume the result is out already...
shit shit shit...

im screwed la...
that day i was thinking about my future...
about life after graduation...
i even asked my daddy how...
i asked my daddy what if i really did very bad for my degree and didnt meet the requirements for any job out there...
ahhh... all this stuff is starting to scare me...
im.scared.till.i.dont.know.what.to.do.

i want to stay in my comfort zone only, can?

Posted by eMiLy at 21:03 | | Comments

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

im crushed

im officially on holiday now...
until dont know when...

the exam today went well...
no cursing, no injuries, no freezing...
was happily answering my paper...

i finish my paper happily...
but i didnt really go home happily...
found out my results for my paper yesterday...
my lecturer finished marking the paper already and he release our results...
i was so very very disappointed with my results...
very disappointed with the marks i got for my final exam...
i didnt expect to get such a mark...
ahhh... i feel like crying...
seriously speaking i didnt expect to score so low...
i never set my expectation that high either...

ahh... no mood already... byebye.

Posted by eMiLy at 22:49 | | Comments

Monday, July 14, 2008

i curse roadblocks

whoa... sudah lama berhabuk already...

sorry. i was too busy with college and classes and other stuff...
come to think of it, classes finish already and the semester has come to an end already...
it finals again and im done with one paper...
another one more paper tomorrow and im done for the semester...

the fact that it will be an open book paper tomorrow...
im not really studying...
i know i should study eventhough it is open book...
but i dont know why i just dont have the mood to study...
more to like dont have the stress and panic mood to make me study...

my paper was suppose to be at 8 this morning...
purposely leave the house an hour before to avoid the crazy traffic...
and to make sure i reach early for the exam...
but who knows the traffic today was freaking crazy that i curse all the way to college...
all those crazy roadblocks early in the morning...
cause me to reach late...
it usually takes me about half and hour to reach college...
but today it takes me an hour to reach...

reach college about 8.05 thinking that im already late...
i rush to the exam hall and nearly sprain my ankle...
nearly...
i was panicking at that time...
mana tahu when i reach the exam place everybody is still waiting outside...
everybody havent go in yet...
and i found out they delay the exam abit to 8.15...
apparently all the 8am papers started later...
some say they purposely put it later abit because of the traffic jams...
whatever is it thank gawd i wasnt late...
and lucky i never sprained my ankle...
if i did i probably might be cursing more...

luck wasnt totally on my side...
i happen to be sitting right under the aircond during my exam...
crazy... i dont even know why i chose to sit there...
i was freezing throughout my exam...
and i forgot to bring my jacket...
of all days...

lucky my paper tomorrow is not at 8am...
anyway...
marketing oh marketing...
please dont give me a hard time answering you tomorrow...
pls pls pls.

Posted by eMiLy at 23:23 | | Comments